


You Have Me「Poisoned」

by lancel0t



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, implied self harm, tfw my mans lancey gotta go thru post sieg depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 01:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancel0t/pseuds/lancel0t
Summary: Siegfried was a traitor, the villain that murdered the previous king in cold blood. No one knows why he did it. Though he is branded as a traitor now, Lancelot can't help but think of the good times he had with Siegfried; memories that once  made him feel joy now pierce into his very core as his heart bleeds from the inside out.





	You Have Me「Poisoned」

「 _I just wanted to_  
_Tug your hair behind your ear_

 _Hold you in my arms...I'm always here..._ 」

      The room was dead silent, dark with a few beams of sun peeking through the windows signaling that the day was about to begin. A small creak could be heard in the silence, the only way one would know a living being occupied the room. Said living being was Lancelot, new captain of the Order of the White Dragons; a title he earned, a title he worked so graciously hard for. Something he wished he felt that he earned, something he wished he could feel proud of, honored with his head held high; he couldn't. Not when...that man plagued his thoughts; even thinking of his name brought a painful ache to his chest. The traitor, the traitor who fooled everyone, the traitor that fooled him. Lancelot felt that his pillow was getting damp again, ashamed he could hear his own pathetic whimpering. Slowly he sat up, he raised his head to stare blankly at the ceiling, slowly he let out a deep, shaky breath, and slowly, he stood to prepare to be the captain of the order he trained so hard to be.

\----------  
「 _I couldn't have gone so far_  
_So far_  
_Without your absence_ 」  
         

The months passed, Lancelot settled into his role quite well. The workload overwhelmed him at first, but he adjusted quickly; perhaps he could even consider appointing a vice-captain? He trained with his blades every evening, well into the night. That man, that traitor, still haunting him. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. The brunette stood alone in the darkness, letting his mind wander. Would he be proud? Would he commend his growth? As a man? As a captain? As a knight?  
「 _But somehow I still wish_  
_That you'll be here_ 」  
 

    Lancelot gripped the hilts of his swords hard, his hands were shaking, his knees felt about ready to give out.  
「 _You're my poison_  
_You're my poison_  
_You're my poison_  
_Magical scent_ 」  
   

 He wasn't sure when he fell and kneeled over onto the ground, he wasn't sure when he'd started sobbing, he wasn't sure when memories of him, of Siegfried, flooded his mind.  
「 _I'm addicted to_  
_I'm addicted to_  
_I'm addicted to_  
_you_ 」  
     

     The pain, the heartache, the anger, the hatred, the sadness, they all flooded Lancelot's mind at once; he was shaking, he was an empty shell of a man. Siegfried's betrayal will always haunt him, will always hurt him, and his absence. His absence will always leave an empty hole in his chest.  
「 _I just wanted to_  
_Let you know I'm sorry too_  
_Neither of us wanted it to_  
_End up this way_ 」  
     

     His teacher, mentor, captain, hero, and idol. The man he'd looked up to, who he and Percival battled to impress more in hopes of taking his place. The man with a gentle smile, yet was fierce and powerful with his blade. Lancelot's entire body was shaking.  
「 _The poppies cry_ 」

      The captain stood, his face wet, his eyes blurry, and he ran to his quarters. Loudly, he wailed, hoping no one could hear his sadness, his heartache. He recalled his relationship with Siegfried, having the pleasure of occasionally waking up in his arms, getting the satisfaction of seeing his sleeping face. Lancelot cried out even more, the images refusing to leave his mind.  
「 _The poppies sing_ 」

     It wasn't often he'd numb his pain this way, but his mind refused to clear. The thoughts of Siegfried praising him, smiling at him, holding him, infected his mind and he couldn't stand it any longer.  
「 _The poppies bleed_  
_As we drifted apart._  
_Have me poisoned_  
_You have me poisoned_ 」

\----  
   
   "Oh talk to me, tell me the world you see...."  
Vane lifted his brows, looking at Lancelot with curiosity in his eyes.

     "What was that Lan-chan?"

A small, sad smile appeared on his lips.

     "Nothing Vane, Now let's hurry, we need to go free Sylph!"

Vane knew Lancelot was lying, but he decided not to push the subject and flashed a huge grin.

     "Yeah!! Let's go!!"

\----

     "Lancelot... Long time no see."

In front of him Siegfried stood. Lancelot's eyes were wide with shock and anger.  
  
     "Siegfried? Kingslayer!" He shouted as he readied his blades.

「 _I just wanted to_  
_Make you smile again_ 」

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY HI, this is the first i guess? good fic ive written. i wrote it at like 1am just cause. also this fic is based and has the lyrics to Opium by Mili. please listen to it for the Full Sadness. I assure u its great. expect more fics from me and DEFINITELY expect fics that are related to mili from me. i love and stan a queen. one last note, i dont really have an editor so i apologize for any typos/spelling/grammar errors. i try to catch them and i have friends that sometimes read my stuff but yeah....no editor. thank u  
>  **[edit] please do not seek out my social media to contact me, if you have any issues, please ask and i will give you something i feel comfortable sharing. thank you**  
> 


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